Dating scams
Dating Scams in South Africa: How to Spot Them and What to Do
Six scams, the signs of each and what to do if one reaches you.
Dating scams follow a script: fast attention, a quick move to WhatsApp or Telegram, then a request for money, a fee or a picture. If anyone asks you to pay or threatens to share an image, stop replying, do not pay, keep the evidence, block them and report it.
Which online dating scams should you watch for?
Scammers use the same few tricks on every kind of dating site, adult sites included. Learn these six and you know what the usual scripts look like.
Money, always urgent
A hospital bill, a stuck flight, a customs fee, a stolen wallet. The story arrives fast so you pay before you think. Never send money, gift cards, airtime or crypto to someone you have not met.
Photos that are too good
Polished photos, a story that does not match them and a refusal to do a quick video call. A reverse image search can show the same pictures under another name.
“Let’s move to WhatsApp”
Off the site, our moderation and report tools no longer reach the chat. StouteLiefie flags attempts to move a chat to an outside app, so treat that alert as your cue to slow down.
Pay a fee to see or verify
Be wary of anyone asking you to pay to see photos, get verified or join something. On StouteLiefie, free ID verification is optional and happens on the site, never through another member.
Investment and crypto tips
A new contact who knows a sure thing, with returns that sound too good. In South Africa you can search a company by name or FSP number on the Financial Sector Conduct Authority’s website to see whether it is registered as a financial services provider.
Sextortion
Someone has an intimate image or video of you and threatens to send it to your contacts unless you pay. The next section explains what to do.
Blackmail
What is sextortion, and what should you do?
It usually starts as a flirty chat that moves fast to photos or a video call. Then the message arrives: pay, or the image goes to your family, friends and colleagues. It is blackmail, and none of it is your fault.
Stop. Do not pay, and do not send anything more. Follow the steps below.
Sharing an intimate image without consent is an offence in its own right. The detail is in our guide to sexting tips.
What to do if you have been scammed or threatened
Stop replying
You owe them nothing, not even a goodbye.
Do not pay
Paying shows them that pressure works.
Keep the evidence
Screenshot the messages, the profile, the usernames and any proof of payment before you block.
Block them
Then they cannot contact you or see your profile.
Report it
Report the profile on the site, then lay a charge with the South African Police Service.
Call your bank
If money has moved, tell your bank straight away and ask what it can do.
What does the Cybercrimes Act say about dating scams?
A dating scam is usually plain fraud. The Cybercrimes Act of 2020 (Act 19 of 2020) has an offence of cyber fraud: unlawfully and with intent to defraud, making a misrepresentation by means of data or a computer program that causes actual or potential prejudice to another person (section 8).
Sharing an intimate image without consent is a separate offence (section 16), and so is helping someone else to do it (section 17). The sexting tips guide explains the penalty and what counts as an intimate image. Every section mentioned here has applied since 1 December 2021, and the evidence you saved will help the police.
On StouteLiefie
How StouteLiefie helps you spot a dating scam
- Off-platform alerts. The site detects attempts to move a chat to an outside app and warns you.
- Behaviour monitoring. AI looks for unusual or suspicious activity patterns on accounts.
- Block and report. Block anyone instantly and report people or content from inside the site.
- Optional ID verification. Members who choose it get a badge on their profile.
No tool replaces your own checks, so use the signs above on any site, ours included. The full list of protections is on the safety page, and is StouteLiefie veilig? answers the questions we get asked most (both in Afrikaans). Using other services as well? Our comparisons set StouteLiefie beside Datingbuzz, Koer, Tinder and Badoo.
Dating scam questions
Which dating scams should I watch for in South Africa?
Urgent money requests, photos that are too good, a quick move to WhatsApp or Telegram, fees to see photos or get verified, investment and crypto tips, and sextortion. Each one is covered above.
What is sextortion?
Blackmail with an intimate image or video: someone threatens to send it to your contacts unless you pay. Do not pay, keep the evidence, block them and report it.
How do I report a dating scam?
Report the profile on the site, lay a charge with the South African Police Service and, if money moved, tell your bank straight away.
Is a dating scam a crime under the Cybercrimes Act?
Often, yes. Cyber fraud (section 8) covers a false statement made by electronic means with intent to defraud, where it causes actual or potential prejudice. Sharing an intimate image without consent is a separate offence.
How can I tell if a profile is fake?
Look for polished photos that appear elsewhere, a story that keeps changing, no live video call and pressure to pay or move to another app. A verification badge is one clue among several.
Flirt with your eyes open
Create a profile, keep the chat on the site and trust your gut.
Create your profile